Let Go

You should let go now. He is never coming back. She is never coming back.

They, are never coming back.

It’s just a matter of time you find new people and maybe they’ll stick around, maybe they won’t. If they don’t you’ll have to let them go. It doesn’t matter if you put in your 100%, maybe sometimes if it’s your boyfriend/ girlfriend, you put in 200%. But what does that amount to? Leaving. With exceptional excuses, sometimes explicit blaming.

They’ll do that and you won’t because that’s what differentiates your principles from them.

You might want to think that maybe if you put in a little more effort, with that best friend who wouldn’t talk to you anymore like they used to. But it won’t change anything, you are just dragging your friendship, the dead relationship whose funeral you are not ready to attend. It’s alright, can’t tell you to rush it. But can tell you to see things.

They’ll tell you, inexplicably, you are overthinking, you are just upset over something that has nothing to do with the fact that they are not the person they used to be. They don’t text you the same way you used to. When this point is made, they’ll refute. They’ll either laugh at you with something like “Should I text you the same things every day?” and there you are with absolutely nothing. No rest to your thoughts, no closure.

Then other aspect, they might leave you there with your doubts and never talk to you. That’s for the better actually but we know how worse it makes things for us. Focus? Gone. Energy? Gone. The positivity? Gone.

It’s all gone. They take it with them, and there you are with broken self-esteem and probably 12 cuts on your wrist and a couple of more somewhere else hiding under you clothes. It’s all part of the “I chose the wrong person package” and no matter how badass or confident or strong you are you are always left in a phase of overthinking  and self-doubt and the cuts are the bonus not everyone gets.

For the revival part is even more horrendous than you think it would be. Firstly, you are either going to act like you don’t give a shit, but darling, you do and you know it. Or the other way round, you cry your heart out, and time doesn’t make it better, you’ll be struggling to breathe and muffling your screams in your pillow.

Finally when acceptance come and you gain some control over your crying and cutting and hurting, you are still hopeful. Maybe they’ll come back, maybe they’ll miss me someday when something about me is brought up, maybe they’ll just call to wish me on my birthday. But they won’t. Because you never mattered. Never. Maybe for a couple of days when they were enhancing their “varieties of humans we’ve screwed” rack. Nice hobby for people, I must say.

Second phase, you’ll start hanging out with newer people. Not because you are necessarily weak, but because you can’t face the person or you can’t stand the person, either way, the moving on phase has been initiated.  A little tip, don’t go back to the person. It’s just like reading and old novel over again and you know how that ends. It’s hurtful. And you were stupid enough to go back there even then. But that’s okay. Every one of us relapses. All the time.

There’ll be a time when you done with the phase two, could take days, could take months. No one knows the ideal time.

But once you start to let go, it’s a bit simplifying. For your soul, for your life.

So let go, dear. They are never coming back.