Time And Love

It dribbles at my feet

Looking for attention

I try to grab it

But it circles around my reflection

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What is it you ask?

It’s the time and love I never understood

I never knew what I was giving up

For the lust of the underachieved made me thirstier

 

With every drop of success that touched my lips

I wanted a shower of wins

With every person who lent me a piece of their hearts

I chased the one that was never meant to be mine

 

How foolish can you be I ask the reflection

That so demeans my existence and demands answers

As I stand shushed with the atrocity I put myself through

The reflection eases up

 

Laughs a little, taunts my existence

Walks away with a lost look,

Turns back, grins, eyes on shoulders

It’s the fire you lit in which you now smolder.

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I Remember You

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I remember you

Like I remember the sun being too hot on my skin

The clouds being a little relief

And the nights being empty and silent

 

I remember you

Being the rain, nothing beautiful

But the tantalizing smell of the mud

Breezing through the air

 

I remember you

Just like the hot coffee I sip everyday

Too bitter, too hot

But I like how it burns my tongue, numbing me for anything else

 

I remember you

With the rising of the hair on my arms

The tingling sensation all over

Yet my heart beating perfectly sound.

 

And now when I have to forget you

I have to forget my existence.

 

Lifeless

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Messed and entwined.

Like a promise to hold on.

Much like you made,

That night in the lawn.

 

One soul, you wowed.

Like a root,

Letting her children.

Branch out and bow.

 

On your knee you sat.

Messed everything up so bad.

Proposed me nonetheless.

Fool that i was, i said yes.

 

Beautiful as a sunny day.

Our marriage grew every day.

Not the way you would expect.

But, like the waist cut from a belt.

 

Kicked in the nerve so hard.

You shoved a blow.

I fell away too far.

Moment struck, we hit the low.

 

Now it’s just a mess.

I wait for your minute,

To confess.

But you won’t, knowing so, i leave my side of the bed.

 

Beauty And Strength

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They say love is supposed to make you strong

But it didn’t.

It just frightened me to care of someone’s breaths

More than mine.

 

They say fear makes you strong

But it didn’t.

It made me listen to my heartbeats

Like a murderer’s footsteps.

 

They say childhood is beautiful.

But it isn’t.

It turned my laughter

Into muffled screams of unexplainable horror

 

They say adulthood is beautiful.

But it isn’t.

It has turned my ambitions

To imprison me into an unformidable jail.

 

So, through all my life, where was beauty and strength?

Taking Back

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If someday, ever, we collide.

Cross each other’s path on a road wide.

I’ll look at you and smile,

Maybe you would too.

Even if out of sheer courtesy.

Maybe, we’ll try to break the ice,

We never could.

You’ll ask me out for coffee, or maybe not.

But, I’d rather believe that you would.

For old times,

For our time’s sake.

We’d walk in silence.

Just like the last leg of our relationship.

Finally reaching somewhere, anywhere,

We’d sit and talk.

About work, pets, life.

Which you and I already know.

4 years is a long time, dear.

The conversation would drag,

The onlookers would smile

At the two friends who are carelessly laughing.

Not a care in the world.

No matter how many hours we sit there,

Trying to escape the tension,

Hiding with smiles.

You’ll ask,

” Do you miss it?”

” If you want a day back from our time, what will it be.”

“Do you love someone now.”

And an array of questions,

Which, if I answered, would hurt you.

But, I will answer one of the questions, if you asked that.

” If you want a day back from our time, what will it be.”

I’d say, without a doubt,

Or a frown,

“I’d want the one, the day you left me,

And decided I wasn’t enough to make you stay.

I’d want to relive that day, just as it was.

No, I won’t stop you.

And just when you’re about to leave,

When you are about to bang that door,

Whose bang still wakes me up in the middle of the night.

I would tell you, everything that I’ve been wanting to say.

All these months, all these minutes.

I’d tell you, our four years, were beautiful.

And you made me cry, you made me yell, you made me smile.

And I’d bid you goodbye.

One that I never had.

With a chaste kiss,

But no promises to drop by.”